


In his Heart, There is Love

by TheLadyJ



Series: Battles Won and Lost. [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Godfather!Steve, M/M, Minor Character Death, Underage Sex, godson!Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 06:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyJ/pseuds/TheLadyJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's fighting a battle he's about to lose it, Tony isn't helping by being...Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In his Heart, There is Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely re-written. the 1st post of this part of the series was pure shit and I like this much better. I still believe this is the weakest of the series but its much better.
> 
> Beta's by windeetree I <3 her so much.

The days, weeks and months wore on without incident. Tony found comfort in Steve and Steve; well Steve found a war within himself. 

And what a battle it was, forged through doubt and self loathing, fraught with hatred and self-deprecation on the battlefield of sorrow, pain and heartache. The victor was not yet known but Steve could feel the tides of change coming. Slowly the battle was wearing him down. 

He knew the feelings were wrong, more than wrong really, but he couldn't stop them from growing. 

It had shocked him to his very core, just how quickly emotions could change. Like the setting sun on one day, it rose again and a new day dawned. With it brought a new view, a new hope and a new love. A love he had always held dear to him, but had changed in a way that he had not seen coming. Steve had never looked at Tony as anything, except Howard’s little boy; his godson. However, looking back, he could see when his views on the boy had started to change. 

It had started even before the kiss, sometime while Maria had been dying. Steve had watched Howard fall apart at the seams and land in a bottle of amber liquid, Tony had remained strong and optimistic. Even in the face of his mother’s death, he had not let it consume him. He had remained as happy as was possible to be and he had not taken his grief out on those around him. 

Yes, it had taken Tony a long time to mourn the passing of his mother, that was not something someone just got over, but he had mourned and had allowed himself to be comforted. Howard had turned to the bottle to drown his sorrows. Steve had come to realize then, just how different the two Starks were. Tony was strong and determined, but kind and compassionate. Howard was weak in mind and frail in spirit and he was mean. Steve had discovered the bully within Howard Stark and he had found hatred for the man. At 14 years old, Tony had already proven to be a better man than Stark senior was. He had never expected to hate the man, but he did. There were many things Steve never expected.

The war within Steve continues, having not fully given into to his desires. He struggles with his guilt every day. 

He's never spoken to Tony about the kiss, mostly out of fear. Fear was an interesting emotion for Captain America, not one that he was used to experiencing. Yet a 17 year old boy had reduced him to a base instinct; fight or flight, and Steve wasn’t sure which to chose. Unfamiliar with the desire to flee but so badly wanting to, Steve struggled with the desire to see it through, see what he and Tony can make of it. He hadn't asked Tony about the kiss because he’s scared of the answers. Part of him was afraid that Tony would tell him that it was an accident. That lack of sleep and pain meds caused him to...something, he wasn't sure, or that he didn't remember doing it. But the other part of him, the rational part that tells him everything about this was wrong, was worried that Tony would admit to the kiss, give him logical reasons as to why the kiss was right and how their love would work out in the end. 

Steve’s inner turmoil was as of yet, unknown to anyone, he remained stoic and composed on the outside even when standing next to the object of his affections. No one would ever guess that he was falling in love with his Godson. 

It had not been an easier year for either Steve or Tony, but they had made it work. Tony celebrated his 17th birthday by telling Howard that he was moving to Massachusetts as he had been accepted to MIT. Howard had been less than pleased to hear his 17-year-old son speak to him in such a way, had Steve not been standing by (down the hall, not totally out of ears reach), Tony may have ended up on the business end of a belt again, but Howard had refrained.  
**  
Steve was standing in the apartment he and Tony had rented. One of the only reasons Howard had allowed his son to journey so far, had been because Steve was going as his caregiver. Though Steve believed, Howard had been relieved to see Tony go and really only held up the pretences of caring about his underage son living alone. Steve didn’t believe Howard would have put up much of a fight, even if Tony had said he was going by himself. He wasn’t sure why Howard held such contempt for his son, but there was no denying it was there, and the feelings were more than mutual. 

Steve heard the thud of bags landing on the floor behind him and turned around to see Tony, brown eyes bright with excitement, hair sticking up in an uncontrolled kind of way, plump pink lips, and a rumbled disheveled outfit. If Steve didn’t know any better he’d have believe Tony to have just been fucked. He did know better, however that did not stop the white-hot knot of desire from curling in his stomach. 

“Honey, I’m home!” Tony said as he looked around the tiny apartment, Steve barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but it is difficult. A living room, a tiny kitchen, one bathroom and 2 bedrooms made up the cramped apartment. So far from anything, Tony had ever known before, but the boy did not seem to care. To him it was home.

“My god am I tired,” He said, as Steve looked around, grateful that they had paid to have it furnished. It meant they could go to sleep and not worry, beyond unpacking some clothes. 

“Want to tuck me in?” Tony said, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way. Steve froze, confusion paralyzed his brain. He wanted so badly to take Tony to bed. However, tucking Tony in, would be the last thing that would entail. Images of discarded clothing and flailing limbs flooded his brain and he tried to remember how to speak. 

“Joking Cap.” Tony said, as he moved to his room. But as Tony closed the door to his room Steve, in his super soldier glory heard his boy mumble “Well sorta.” 

Steve tried not to let his heart swell at Tony’s words but he recognized the feelings in his chest for what they were. The hopeful part of him, hoping that maybe Tony returned the strange feelings. Steve shook his head, dispelling anymore thoughts on the topic of hope and love and moved to his room, toeing his shoes off and shedding his shirt. All Steve wanted to do, was fall face first into the soft bed, he was tired. Physically and emotionally spent. The phone in the living room was ringing before Steve could get further than a fleeting thought of falling on the bed.

“Shit.” The sound of water running told him that Tony was in the shower, which left him, the only other person in the house, to answer the phone. 

“Hello,” Steve said into the receiver, his voice tired even to him.

“Ah, yes, is this Mr. Steve Rogers?” Steve was confused; he had not given this number to anyone but Howard. 

“This is Steve Rogers, yes.” The door to bathroom opened and Steve turned to look and to his shock; Tony was dressed solely in a towel that hung, slightly too low for the reputable part of Steve’s brain. His hair was wet and sparse beads of water rolled down his taut abdomen as they dripped from ends of his hair.

“Who’s on the phone?” Tony mouthed, Steve shrugged, he’d missed what the voice on the other side had said with his distraction. 

“I’m sorry, What?” Steve said into the receiver, he looked at the floor embarrassed by his ogling.

“Sir, there's been an accident; we regret to inform you that Howard Stark was killed today in a car crash.” Steve dropped the phone in shock. He turned back to the boy who had suddenly become an orphan. Tears sprang to his eyes, Steve was unsure how to tell this boy that he loved, what had happened. Tony and Howard weren't friendly to each other but Steve believed they at least loved each other deep, very deep down. 

“Steve?”What.....What is it?” Tony’s voice sounded worried as he reached a hand out and grabbed him by the arm. Steve’s head was spinning, he may have hated Howard Stark for what he had become, but he had never ever wanted him dead. He was Tony’s father, and Steve had been so sure that as Tony got older, they would be able to patch up their strained relationship. Now it was too late. With Howard gone, Tony was now all alone in the world he had no family left. No one left except for Steve; who in all honesty, had not exactly been the greatest of a godfather lately. What kind of godfather entertained impure sexual thoughts, towards the boy they had promised to protect and keep safe, from the harms of the world? Steve was a horrible person and yet he was all Tony had left. 

The war within him waged on, unrelenting, even in the face of being the only living adult to care for Tony. Steve just could not reconcile his feelings for Tony and no matter how devastated by Howard’s death he was, looking at Tony, standing before him in a towel and nothing else, Steve felt his resolve begin to break. 

“There...There’s been an accident.” Steve said, his watery blue eyes met, confused brown. 

“What kind of accident Steve?” Tony asked a slight panic in his voice.

“Your father...” Steve paused, choking on the words. “Howard’s been killed in a car accident.” Tony released his grip on Steve, stumbled back, reeling from the news. There may have been no love lost between the two Starks, but that clearly didn’t mean that on some level Tony didn’t care for his father. As Steve watched, Tony crumpled to the floor, tears fell from his eyes and his breath coming in quick bursts. Steve dropped to his knees and landed at Tony’s side, without really thinking, he grabbed the boy by the arms, he really just needed something to do. He was unsure how to stop the panic attack Tony seemed to be having. But before he could do anything, Tony was up and racing to the bathroom, purging the small meal they had consumed on the flight. 

The toilet flushed and Steve could hear the water running again. But he refused move from his spot on the floor. His body was slowly growing numb, his brain ignoring the news of Howard’s death. He heard door to Tony’s room shut, completely spent he slumped against the couch completely unsure if his legs could even move, let alone hold his weight. The dial tone could be heard from the phone on the floor where it had been dropped, the sound tells him they had been disconnected from the person, on the other end. 

He didn't remember going into his room, but when he woke up, he was buried in a soft bed, wrapped warmly around a firm mass, something tickling his nose and the faint scent of apples hung in the air. Steve opened his eyes, Tony was snuggled safely into his chest. Face tear streaked and mouth set in a firm line. Even in sleep, Steve could see the pain Tony was in. He wanted so badly to be able to take way the pain. A 17 year old should not suffer so much, but Tony has and despite how much Steve wanted to, he could not change that. All he could do, was help make the road ahead easier. Steve wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to be able to accomplish that, but he would try. Somehow, Tony had remained strong, not allowing all the hardships in his life to get to him. Steve couldn't help but hope that perhaps it was because of his influence over the years but another part of him didn't dare believe someone with the questionable moral code could have such a great influence on someone. 

Tony, in the midst of a dream started to move and mumble a little against Steve, the tiny wisps of air from Tony, faned out across Steve’s chest, and tickled him. Steve tried so hard not to laugh but couldn't stop the chuckle the escapes, and was unable to prevent the movement. The sensation jostled Tony, which caused him to turn in the embrace. Tony’s leg brushed against Steve crotch, causing him to moan. Steve loosened his grip on Tony almost instantly. He hadn’t noticed how turned on by Tony’s embrace he been. He had not gotten far in changing his clothing before the phone rang and with the emotional turmoil of the night before having taken over, he had gone to bed dressed in his slacks and they were painfully tight. Steve was losing his last shred of control, he didn’t know if he could fight his feelings for Tony much longer. The fight that was not made any easier when Tony pushed up against Steve’s cloth covered dick. 

“Oh god,” Steve muttered, closing his eyes. The slight wiggle of hips told him that Tony was awake and knew exactly what he was doing. Steve placed one of his large hands on Tony’s hips and stilled the motion.

“Please. Don’t. Do. That.” Steve growled. He was having a hard time controlling his overwhelming desire. He released Tony’s hip and rolled out of the bed. He knew he didn't have the strength to deny his desires, if he had remained in the bed any longer. He needed a shower, he needed to clear his head and he needed to strengthen his resolve to push away the feelings he was having. 

**

 

The week that followed would probably go down as one of the worst in Tony’s life. They had hardly had time to get settled into the apartment, when they were forced to race back to California for the funeral and the estate dealings. The company was placed in Stane’s care until Tony was 21 and Steve signed every document needed to allow Tony to emancipate. Tony was 17 and in all honesty hardly a kid anyway. It hadn’t hurt Tony that Steve was willing to give up custody of him. It would have made getting him into bed, a lot harder anyway.  
Within a month of being, back in Cambridge Tony had let the apartment go and had found a house that really couldn’t be considered a house. Steve had tried to stay behind; stating that Tony was allowed to live on his own and he should enjoy that. However, Tony wouldn't allow it it. He knew there was something between the two of them. Something that could turn into more if Tony was just willing to push the limits a little bit, to show Steve just how right they were for each other.

It wouldn't be easy, Tony wasn’t one to delude himself into thinking that he could just convince Captain America to fall in love with a minor, who happened to be his best friends son and oh yeah a guy. Steve Rogers was a class of man all by himself. He was gentle and kind, he was innocent, doe eyed, and he held a conviction so fierce that would have to be pried from his cold dead hands before he would give it up. 

He had grown up in the 20s and 30s when homosexuality was thought to be a disease. Tony was pretty sure Steve didn’t hold with that way of thinking, if that first morning in the apartment was anything to go by, but he had shut Tony down pretty fast, so the reality was, he may just not be into guys. Though sometimes when Steve didn’t think Tony was looking, Tony would catch a glance or a look from Steve that would give him hope that maybe he did feel the same way. 

Tony was sure that he was in love with Steve and probably had been from the time he could walk. Steve had been the one constant figure in his life, even when his parents weren’t. Steve had been the person Tony had talked to about his first crush on a girl, had been the one he had cried to when the girl had broken his heart. Steve had always been the one to pick him up when he was having a bad day, to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be ok.

Steve meant more to Tony than anything ever had. He could not, for a second imagine his life without Steve by his side. He wanted to know Steve inside and out. He wanted to know what made him tick, what he did to relax and unwind, he wanted to feel those strong arms wrapped around him in the middle of the night, feel the safety those arms and that body held. He wanted to know what it was like to truly be loved by the most amazing man. Tony had tried to be content with just being Steve’s friend, but he could not do it. He wanted it all, he wanted all of Steve. To wake up and see Steve’s beautiful face first thing in the morning, to know that he would be the last person Steve would see before going to sleep. He wanted to be the reason Steve lived. There wasn’t a single part of him that did not want Steve. 

Steve was all Tony thought about, even in his lab at MIT and the smaller lab in the basement of his house. It had taken Tony months of living under the same roof as Steve to realize just how obsessed with the man he had become. 

Tony’s obsession sat in their living room having drinks with a pretty woman and the thought of what that meant was driving Tony nuts so he had decided to go play in his lab. He had been tinkering with AI’s and robotics and had decided to put the two together. It required a lot of concentration, because the idea of AI’s and robotics were still a very new thing to the world. It was not something he should have been doing while his mind was upstairs on the couple in his living room. Steve and his “date”, Tony wasn’t actually sure if Samantha was his date or if they were just friends or something, which irritated him even more. Steve hadn’t given any explanations just introduced her as Samantha and steered her into another room as Tony was heading to the kitchen where Jarvis, his butler, had been fixing dinner. 

Tony had wanted so badly to listen in on what was being said. He wanted to know what Steve and the blond leggy chick were talking about, because he couldn’t for the life of him remember Steve ever having a girlfriend or a boyfriend even. The only people he had ever known Steve to be around had been him, his father and his mother. They had talked about Bucky and Peggy, but there was never anyone else. Bucky was a source of great pain to Steve and that topic typically was left alone. Tony knew Peggy and Steve had had a thing, but as Peggy got old and Steve didn’t, they had drifted apart. So the fact that Steve had someone, Tony didn’t know, in the house made Tony curious, perhaps even a bit neurotic and twitchy, but Steve had closed the doors to the living room. Which had left Tony no way of effectively eavesdropping after that. 

It was due to his curiosity and obsession with everything Steve that he had mistakenly crossed a few wires. The explosion that it created had been spectacular and had sent Tony crashing into the wall opposite. 

“Oops,” he said as he reached up to touch his head and felt the blood start to trickle down.  
**  
“Tony! Oh my God, Tony are you ok?” The voice that called his name sounded very far away and when Tony opened his eyes, the room he was in spun and caused him to have a hard time focusing. Tony blinked a few times, glad he could finally make out Steve and in the far corner of his blown up lab was Steve’s friend. What was her name again? 

“I didn’t expect that?” Tony felt confused and his head hurt but he was regaining his thoughts. 

“Tony,” Steve said, one firm hand on Tony’s cheek, the other on his shoulder.

“I’m fine Steve, I swear. I’m sorry I ruined your evening, I’m just going to go up to my room.” He said, trying to stand and falling into Steve. 

“Stay here. I’m going to walk Sam out and I’ll be right back.” Steve said, guiding Tony back down to the floor. Tony nodded absently watching as Steve and his date left the room. As soon as Steve was gone, Tony pulled himself to his feet and stumbled up the stairs to his room. It took longer than he had expected but he had found his way to his room at last. Inside he collapsed on the bed and refused to move. His whole body hurt. He had a headache and he was so very tired. Which probably meant he had a concussion, and that he probably should not go to sleep. Nevertheless, Tony felt himself losing the battle to stay awake, until he felt strong arms wrap around him. 

Of course, he knew those arms. He didn’t fight as they pulled him into an upright position and let him go. Tony sat on the edge of the bed with Steve kneeling down on the floor looking into his eyes. The blue of Steve’s eyes was so intense that it was almost painful to look at. Worry written so clearly on Steve’s face, but there was something else; something more to that look, something Tony had never seen in Steve before. 

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again!” Steve said, “I cannot lose you.” Steve’s thumb caressed Tony’s cheek and try as Tony might; he couldn’t help but close his eyes and lean into the touch. He longed for Steve’s touch. 

“I can’t do this anymore!” Steve said sharply, causing Tony to open his eyes. Steve was staring at him. His face screwed up with pain. Tony was scared, convinced that he had finally pushed the last person that loved him away, but that fear went out the window as Steve smashed their lips together. 

Tony didn’t allow his brain to analyze the kiss, all he did was feel it. Steve’s lips were soft, smooth and warm. The kiss had meant to be chaste, Tony felt Steve start to pull away, but Tony wrapped his arms around Steve neck and locked him in place. He nibbled Steve’s bottom lip like had wanted to some many times and was rewarded with a soft moan as Steve opened his mouth to allow Tony entrance. Steve was scared; Tony could feel the hesitation so he took charge, pulling Steve with him as he laid back on the bed. Steve was a few inches taller and a good fifty-pounds heavier than Tony was, but at the moment, he didn’t care. Steve was kissing him and he had Steve’s body pressed against him. Tony was hard, painfully hard; the pain from the explosion had receded to the back of Tony's mind as Steve shifted slightly above him. Tony broke the kiss unable to stop the gasp, as Steve’s movement created a friction Tony desperately wanted. 

“Steve,” Tony’s voice was raspy, just a few kisses and he already sounded wrecked.

“Is this what you really want?” Tony forced his hips up into Steve’s, rubbing his erection against Steve’s to prove just how much he wanted it. Steve moved slightly, bracing his hand on Tony’s hip to still his movement.

“Yes! God, yes Steve I want this. I want this so bad.” Something in Steve's face changed at Tony's words. Steve’s hand moved slowly from Tony’s to hip sliding over his cloth covered erection. Tony closed his eyes, the sensation was almost too much for him to handle and yet it wasn’t nearly enough. 

“What do you want, baby boy? Tell me what you want.” Steve said running his hand down Tony’s leg.

“I want you to touch me, I need to feel you.” There was so much more that Tony wanted, but the words died on his lips as he felt the button on his jeans pop open and the zipper slid down. Tony let out a moan as he felt Steve release his cock from the confines of his underwear. Steve’s hands were calloused and firm. Tony writhed as Steve’s hand moved, Steve's thumb dipped into his slit, spreading the pre-cum, pumping him slow but firmly. The white hot coil in the pit of his stomach was wound tightly, It didn’t take long for Tony to come, the feel of Steve’s body against his, the touch of those fingers across the head of his dick, the knowledge that something he had wanted for so long was finally happening. Tony should have been embarrassed that it he came so fast but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He was too happy to care, his euphoria was short lived, however, as the pain in his head from the explosion came back. He wanted to get Steve off, just like Steve had done for him but he was too tired and Steve being the gentleman that he was, pulled Tony to the head of the bed, wrapped his arm around him and pulled him firmly into his chest and let him fall asleep. 

The next morning, Tony was sore, but he was warm and pressed firmly against something. As he moved slightly, he discovered that he was pressed against Steve. The events of the night before came crashing down on Tony and he heart swelled. 

Tony turned in Steve’s arms to face him. “Hey Steve,” Tony said, burying his nose in Steve’s chest. “I love you. I know this isn’t going to be easy, but, I love you.”

Tony felt Steve’s chest heave with a heavy sigh, his hair ruffled with the air that was expelled. “You’re right, this won’t be easy, But Tony, I know you're worth it. I love you too. God help me, I love you. Way more than I should.” Tony couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face and he buried his head deeper into Steve’s chest. 

Tony was happy and he knew everything would be ok with Steve at his side. Was it going to be easy? Oh hell no! But Tony hardly did anything that was easy.


End file.
